I live a strange life, which is why I’ve gone MIA the past few weeks. I have really come to enjoy being alone, and quite frequently I find it a challenge to put my consistent epiphanies and insights into words to share with others. But this one is different.
I started 2018 off on the right foot; quite literally. I was in a hot yoga class when the clock struck midnight. My face was dripping with sweat when we landed in Warrior pose, and something really beautiful happened. 2017 was a rough year for me, as it was my first year that I entered my bizarre career as an apprentice with plant-based medicine from the Amazon. It was my first glimpse into the actual world of Ayahuasca. Integrating all I had learned into the concrete jungle was a challenge that I failed at on multiple occasions. I can’t even count how many tests were thrown my way and how many times I failed. I walked through the valley of my own hell, and to top off a pretty challenging year, I had my heart broken into pieces at the end of it. But here I was, in Warrior pose. Through all the challenges, I survived. It was like the end of a movie; an end to a chapter, and the excitement of finding out what happens next completely overtook me.
The next night during the full moon, I sat in a bathtub full of epsom salt and meditated, feeling out every energetic tug from the tides. It was then that I got an insight that has changed my entire outlook on life; one that I have put into practice every day, which is why I choose to share it.
My job requires me to work around darker energies, which up until recently, has been a struggle. I’ve come to find that no matter where I go, there are going to be darker energies floating in the air. I can’t escape this fact, so I had to find out a way to live among it while not allowing it into my thoughts and sense. For the entire length of my life, drama seemed to follow me everywhere. I’ve had relationships that I thought were healthy end up being a quicksand of lies and manipulation. I’ve put myself in situations where my energy is drained and I end up getting hurt.
So, while I’m sitting in the bathtub during the full moon, I had a vision of all these open doors surrounding me. And I received a message from the inner workings of my soul, which wisely told me:
Every situation that you encounter that you don’t like and causes negative effects in your life – you invited in.
This lesson goes along the aspect of “don’t make yourself the victim,” but I do believe that lessons come in spirals. Once you learn a lesson, it will come back around to reveal a deeper meaning. Since that little, life-altering insight, my life has completely undergone one of the most beautiful transformations. Visualizing really helps too. For instance, if I notice someone who has a dramatic life try to push their way into mine, I literally envision me shutting the door on that unwanted energy. The practice of that alone has completely altered my life. For the first time, I’m not giving anyone my power. I don’t over-think things that I don’t want in my life anymore. I simply shut the damn door. And the result? A life of peace; which I didn’t think actually could be maintained until I made it so.
I’m not one for new years resolutions, but I do believe the energy of the full moon really brought in something special for us. At the end of 2017, I was deceived by someone I trusted – the sudden fallout threw me into unknown waters, however, I’m eternally grateful for what happened because the situation empowered me to do these things from here on fourth:
- Make myself a priority
- Refuse to allow toxic people to take away my individual power.
- Shut the doors on anyone who doesn’t bring joy and love into my life.
- Spend more time connecting with the people I love.
- Take every challenge life throws and turn it into a tool to get through the next challenge.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful, empowering start to the new year, and I hope you take everything life throws at you and make yourself a beautiful, empowered individual from it.
Much love and respect.